Advocating for Your Child During the Holidays: Tough Conversations Made Easier

The holidays often bring together family members with differing perspectives—and for parents of neurodiverse or differently-abled children, this can mean facing uncomfortable questions or unsolicited advice. Navigating these conversations with confidence not only supports your child, but also educates the wider family.

Anticipating Common Challenges

Relatives may not understand your child’s needs (“Can’t they just try the turkey?”), question parenting choices (“He just needs discipline”), or make comparisons to siblings or cousins. These moments can feel frustrating, but they’re also opportunities for advocacy and empathy-building.

How to Explain Your Child’s Needs

• Frame Differences as Strengths: “Emma’s brain works differently, so she learns best with headphones and breaks.”

• Use Clear, Non-Defensive Language: “We follow a strict bedtime for his health—it’s not negotiable, even for special occasions.”

• Share Simple Explanations: “Liam isn’t picky; his sensory system reacts strongly to certain textures.”

• Educate Gently: Offer a resource or suggest a short article about your child’s diagnosis or needs.

  
  

Tips for Navigating Holiday Gatherings

1. Communicate Ahead of Time: Send a friendly note or make a call to hosts, explaining any accommodations needed.

2. Prepare Your Child: Practice responses to likely questions or comments, using role play.

3. Set Boundaries: If the conversation turns too personal, redirect politely but firmly: “We appreciate your concern, but this works for us.”

4. Focus on Connection: Guide family toward activities your child enjoys and can participate in confidently.

   
   

Advocacy during the holidays doesn’t mean confrontation—it means clarity, compassion, and consistency. Each conversation is a chance to pave the way for understanding and belonging, one family gathering at a time.